Lost Mittens

The world is full of lost mittens.

I have bought dozens of pairs of mittens for my children, and every year they lose them all. Even I, who never lose anything, have lost a few mittens.

If everyone is losing mittens, is someone finding them? I, personally, have never found a pair of mittens, though I've seen many single ones lying in the gutters like dead squirrels.

I don't think anyone in the world finds nearly as many mittens as he loses. Those lost mittens must all still be lying on the ground, thousands or millions in Milwaukee alone. Perhaps after a few more years there will be so many lying around that we'll begin to notice them.

If we throw a pile of them into the washing machine, we might end up with a pair.